I had always used the term "birthmother/father/parents" in conversations but now, thinking about what to call them to my children, because we will be talking about them often...the above seems too impersonal. It seems okay when talking to strangers, acquaintances, and maybe even some friends but not to family and definitely not to my kids.
I think the language that we use when we talk about their "birthparents" strongly conveys a message to our children about our feelings and comfort level toward their past and Ethiopian family. I hope that the message we send to them is a very good one.
So, I've been thinking about what to call them and there were alot of great suggestions, such as:
- Ethiopian mother/father/family
- Enat or Emaye (Amharic for mother) and Abbat or Abaye (Amharic for father)
- First mother/father/family (still not sure how I feel about that one)
- Using their first names
We are still discussing what feels "right" for us, we are leaning towards using their first names in conjunction with momma/poppa (i.e.. momma Tsega/poppa Dawit) or the Amharic words for mom/dad, but we still have quite a bit of time to discuss!
Any thoughts?
3 comments:
Hello! I saw your comment over at our blog and I realized I hadn't posted how to get yourself one of those cute onsies- so, it's at www.cafepress.com Enter in adoption+ethiopia in the search and you'll be able to find it.
I just looked through your blog- you are so close to a referral!! :) Love the orange room and the orange stroller. Hope you get THE CALL very soon!
Stacie
Katie:
I am finding that each birth family scenario seems to have its own story which makes each child's history truly special. In our case and circumstance we will use her birth mother's name since it is the piece of her we do have. We will also refer to her birth mom as "the woman who carried, nurtured and gave birth to you". This is a worthwhile topic to give sincere thought to. Thanks for the post!
Our two daughters from Guatemala refer to their birthmother's as their Guatemalan mothers. We used a combination of "birthmom/Guatemalan mom" when they were little, and this one is the one they stuck with.
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