Here I am complaining about potentially having another month or three added to my wait and then I started to think about my child and their family and what obstacles they are going to have to face or are facing now, and I feel horrible. The heart wrenching decision a mother and her family are going to have to make or for all I know, have already made. A child, my child, having to say goodbye to his family, his country and his culture, the fear and sadness he must feel.
It's thoughts like these that really bring me back to reality, brings me out of my selfishness. It's not only about us starting a family, it's also about loss in a family. Our child has to experience a loss so great that most of us probably can't fathom it, before we are lucky enough to have him in our lives and experience the joy of raising him. It's a little overwhelming to say the least.
1 comment:
This has been one of the hardest things for me to process, and it was one of the things that truly helped maintain my sanity during the wait for our referral.
It's hard. You want so badly to know who your child is, but at the same time, in order for that to happen, we know that another family has to experience a devastating loss.
I think it's good to allow yourself to feel the entire spectrum of emotion.
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